One $12 plan. Five hosted checks.
GBP unpublished or suspended — Telegram in 15 minutes.
If Google marks the listing unpublished, suspended, or permanently closed, we parse the public page and ping Telegram. The same $12/mo plan also watches HTTP (≤60s), SSL under 14 days, page-text hash, and review-count fingerprint. BrightLocal Track is $39/mo monthly for a local-SEO suite. We do not claim the cheapest uptime ping — UptimeRobot's free tier and exit1.dev already occupy that floor.
$12 / month · up to 5 checks · 14-day money-back · no free tier
Not accepting new orders — fulfillment verification in progress. Named prices
Not affiliated with Google, Oh Dear, BrightLocal, or OpenClaw. We notify; we do not guarantee Maps reinstatement, rank, or that you replied to the review. GBP and review checks fail closed when public markup cannot be parsed.
What $12/mo watches (up to 5)
- gbp — unpublished / suspended / permanently-closed markers ≤15 min
- review — review-count fingerprint moved ≤15 min
- http — status not 2xx/3xx → Telegram ≤60s
- ssl — certificate under 14 days left
- html — public page text hash changed ≤15 min
One plan. No $15 / $19 slices.
- Listing-only or review-only is still the same $12/mo — you just use one of the five slots.
- Stripe Payment Links are a different product: Order Desk $29/mo.
- We will not claim this undercuts every free HTTP monitor. The paid job is the listing + review + page-hash bundle with a named Telegram SLA.
Also listed (most not for sale)
OpenClaw install is for sale. Instantly Desk, Seller Central Desk, Review Blast, Rank Grid, and Card Retry stay held until fulfillment is verified. Prices below are the planned stickers, not live checkout.
| SKU | Price | Status |
|---|---|---|
| OpenClaw install | $299 setup + $49/mo | For sale — bounded 48h setup; keep-alive ≤15 min. Not a cheapest-host claim vs managed OpenClaw hosts from about €10.90/mo. |
| Instantly Desk | $29/mo | Not accepting new orders |
| Seller Central Desk | $99/mo | Not accepting new orders |
| Review Blast | $39/mo | Not accepting new orders |
| Rank Grid | $19/mo | Not accepting new orders |
| Card Retry | $29/mo | Not accepting new orders |
Disclaimers
OpenClaw: we install your bot on our VPS or yours. Instantly Desk: deliverability is not guaranteed; we do not launder spam. Seller Central: Amazon may ban third-party logins; you can revoke; this is not the $299 no-login POA packet and not a reinstatement guarantee. Review Blast: you warrant TCPA consent; we refuse lists without a consent column. Rank Grid: coordinates you give us. Card Retry: we never store PAN; Stripe Smart Retries stay in your Stripe.
Subscribe
Watch Desk is not accepting new orders while fulfillment is verified. OpenClaw checkout remains available. One Watch Desk plan covers all five check types. Do not send sk_live or card numbers.
Not accepting new orders — fulfillment verification in progress.
OpenClaw setup — $299 OpenClaw keep-alive — $49/mo
14-day money-back on the first month. After checkout, email intake@ with the SKU subject and the setup details on the thanks page.
FAQ
Is this the cheapest uptime monitor?
No. UptimeRobot's free tier covers HTTP monitors, and exit1.dev publishes paid plans from a few dollars a month. Watch Desk is $12/mo for a five-check bundle. Buy it for GBP unpublished/closed markers, the review-count fingerprint, and the page-hash check — not as a cheapest-ping race.
How fast is the ping?
HTTP down: Telegram within 60 seconds of our fetch. GBP unpublished/closed markers, HTML hash, and review-count fingerprint: within 15 minutes. SSL: when days-left crosses 14. Parsers fail closed to unknown if Google's public markup changes.
Do you install OpenClaw?
Yes. OpenClaw install is $299 setup plus $49/mo keep-alive. We install your bot. Stripe Payment Link monitoring is a separate product, Order Desk, at $29/mo.